One thing all of the women I’m close to have in common? Their internal dialogue is shit.
They are SO mean to themselves.
The self-assault that happens in their brains hurts me.
I call that shit out ALWAYS.
Guess what? My internal dialogue is shit too.
I’ve been looking at this and really working on this a lot lately.
And what I’ve noticed is that my brain thinks saying mean shit to me is not only super helpful, it also thinks it’s very necessary.
I initially thought my inner mean girl only came out when I made mistakes or “failed.”
But the more successful I become, the more I realize my inner mean girl is actually there ALL of the time and constantly offering her bitchy two cents.
She says things to me I wouldn’t dare say to other people I loved.
She tells me how my success is a fluke.
That it doesn’t count.
She’ll find reasons to discount any and all progress I make.
She’ll point out all the ways I’m failing as a mom.
All the reason’s I’m unlovable and unworthy.
I know when she’s in full effect because I feel terrible.
If I wouldn’t talk that way to people I love, why would I say those things to me?
Because I do love me.
The interesting thing is I thought the way to “fix” this was to eradicate her.
But I’m realizing that I don’t think that’s possible and more importantly, it’s not necessary.
Trying to eradicate her just results in me fighting with me, me attempting to reject a part of me, and that doesn’t work.
It just creates resistance and tension which also, doesn’t feel good.
The answer to my inner mean girl isn’t to mean girl her back and tell her to fuck off.
Because that’s not being loving either.
It’s to listen to her with kindness and compassion.
To honor what she’s telling me, thank her for trying to keep me safe and then letting her know it’s okay. I got this.
This year I’m working on really deepening my love for me.
And that means loving all parts of me.
Even the mean girl ones.
You have a mean girl that lives in your brain. I know you do. We all do. Believe it or not, she thinks she’s being helpful and trying to protect you. The answer isn’t to fight her. It’s to love her. And the crazy part is when you’re more loving to her, you’re automatically being more loving to you and she will quiet down. Try it. You’ll thank me.